A few years ago I witnessed the painful breakup up of a friendship between the boss and the employee. The two were so close that they used to go on family holidays together. They used to go for lunch every day, to work and from work together. They had a lot of common interests. After some time, the employee moved from his office to open space among the other employees – and the friendship ended. I still do not know the reason for ending this friendship, but it was not good for the company and its employees. Eventually, the person left the company and the boss seemed to be relieved.
It happens quite often and it has pros and cons
From my point of view it is sometimes dangerous. You just start a new job and soon you find out that you are on the same wavelength with your boss. You agree on how to run the business, but also on personal matters. You have the same opinions, the same taste in clothes, especially when we talk about female taste. Once a week you drink a few glasses together and send text messages during the weekend. Together you practice yoga, play squash and other sports, go skiing at weekends. Slowly you introduce him to your partner. It seems almost idyllic to say that my boss is great, he’s a friend of mine, I have ideal working conditions ..
But is this good for both sides and your colleagues with whom you share your office? Will it not harm you in the future? The role of the employee make you feel fearless, and the rest of the office feel the same as they do not have the same relationship with the boss. It’s not fair to them. Sooner or later, they start to avoid you as they are afraid that you may tell something to your friendly boss, now put hand on your heart, just happens by accident without bad intentions. The next minus is when a similar soulmate appears in the office and your boss will give the new employee more attention than the boss gives to you. Will you accept it?
Now look at the situation from the boss´s point of view
There is no doubt that he likes you. But suddenly he finds out that your tasks are not fulfilled according to his instructions, you do not meet the deadlines, a few fundamental mistakes can be found as well, but as a friend he will try to sweep it under the carpet, even if it is not right and seems to be almost impossible to do so. In addition, you come late to work or leave the work earlier without a good excuse, and you deal with your personal issues at work. You just feel like that you will not suffer the consequences of your actions..
Believe me, your righteous boss will not like it, even if you are soulmates. And if you too like justice, and you are not maintaining a successful personal relationship with your boss because it can benefit you, you should not behave that way at workplace..
The question arises wheter the boss tells you that he is not satisfied with your your job performance. Of course he should tell you, but not over a glass of wine. but in the office where he treats the others. Will you like it? Or will you take it as a dishonest or unkind act? There are more questions to arise: I look after her children, go skiing in the mountains together, solve their conflicts in marriage, do your best for both of them, and now happens this?
If you are a mature person and a professional, the facts that you have heard, you have to accept and respect your boss because your reckless actions would cause harm to your boss and his team.
It may happen that friendships come. And conflicts between women could be cruel, dangerous. Men often discuss it over beer, and the next day they are great friends again who will di efor each other. Women tend to use every other weapons more than men as you probably know. Simple solution, fulfillment of tasks and professional work are the only priorities, all others put aside.
It’s great that the boss is your soulmate, but I think a close friendship may affect justice, sound judgment and insight on both sides. And some friendships, especially those in the workplace, are not desirable. From my experience I appreciate when the boss is nice, human, willing to discuss your personal matters, offers help whenever possible. This is valuable, and I personally appreciate that at 200%, especially after so many years of working with men as my bosses, some of them have very little understanding of mother´s role, how you handle your overwhelming workload, time for shopping and picking up children from school. Their ego is way too huge to handle in situations when women know more than men think.
Lenka Nejedlá, Marketing Specialist